6 Uplifting Things to Do When You Feel Lonely at Christmas
It is Christmas and you feel lonely? Try these things to stay
I grew up romanticizing the holiday classics. Movies like Miracle on 34th Street and It’s a Wonderful Life made this season all the more magical for me. I was wooed well into adulthood by the idea of happy endings: boy meets girl, problems are solved, and everyone gets what they want for Christmas.
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The holiday season, however, can magnify the tough reality that sometimes problems are unresolved, everyone does not get what they want, and many people are lonely at Christmas time. In fact, this season, more than any other, is a major trigger for memories of loved ones lost, broken friendships, and relationships that have yet to manifest.
This was very apparent just a few weeks ago when I asked a friend a question. “What would you say to a woman who is feeling lonely during the holiday season?” Immediately her eyes welled up with tears revealing just how close to home this question struck.
Courageously she responded with one of the most honest, brave, and commendable answers I have yet to hear. Her delicate words, laced with wisdom, were healing balm for the hurting soul. Her advice came not from something she previously experienced but from her right now circumstances. This is the timely advice I offer you today if you find yourself feeling lonely this Christmas.
1. Give yourself permission to cry.
It is no secret that the holidays can be difficult. Many, however, feel an unspoken need to be jolly and bright 100% of the time. Sometimes it is difficult to let others know we are hurting at a time when everyone appears to be happy. Exercising self-compassion means giving ourselves permission to cry when we are sad. It is possible this emotional release will bring us the comfort we need to move forward. Jesus communicated this point in His Sermon on the Mount when he said, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted” (Matthew 5:4, NIV). We must not forget that the Bible calls those who mourn blessed because they will receive comfort.“…the Holy Spirit is our helper.”
If we do not experience comfort from a physical person, the Bible tells us that the Holy Spirit is our helper. “But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.” (John 14: 26) This word advocate in the Greek translates toparaklétos and can mean a counselor, comforter, or helper. If you feel lonely or sad this Christmas, the Holy Spirit can comfort you. [/nextpage] [nextpage title=”L1″ ]2. Refuse to be governed by emotions.
Emotions are convincing, but they do not always represent truth. If we are going to conquer loneliness this Christmas, we will need to make intentional decisions that may be in stark contrast to our emotions. One way to do this is to create an atmosphere of celebration. You may not put up an entire tree but maybe you can hang a reef on the door or light a candle. Making this choice is not a denial of our feelings but an intentional choice to celebrate regardless of them. This is one way we can choose to, “Rejoice in the Lord always,” as it says in Philippians 4:4. Afterall, the reality of a true and risen Savior is worthy of celebration, even when we feel lonely. [/nextpage] [nextpage title=”L1″ ]3. Serve others.
Another antidote for loneliness is serving others. Focusing on other people has the power to reduce our concern for the things in our lives that are not the way we want them to be. Whether we are baking cookies and delivering them as gifts or spending time with an elderly person, we can shift our perspective from our needs to those of someone else. Christ is the ultimate example of this. He lived an others focused life. This is how the apostle Paul describes the actions of Christ in Philippians 2:1-3: “Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion,then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.” Humbly, Christ considered humanity in leaving heaven and coming to earth as a servant. Likewise, we too can serve others despite an overwhelming sense of loneliness. When we feel lonely, we can look to Christ as our example. [/nextpage] [nextpage title=”L1″ ]4. Surround yourself with trusted friends.
A proactive stance to take during this time of year is to prepare for moments when we are most susceptible to feeling lonely. This may be at church, the office Christmas party, or on Christmas Day. We can plan for these times by inviting a friend to come to events with us or asking if we can spend the day with them. It may mean we host our own party. This is not to say that there are not times when being alone is necessary, but there are times when we need community. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 puts it this way: “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.”